All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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