Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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