if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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