is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
