I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
