goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize