This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
