..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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