I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize