I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
