why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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