What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
