College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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