if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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