D3 body, D1 cock
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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