We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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