I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
