; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
North Korea, Best Korea!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
