Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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