Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
