i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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