Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize