dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
