the new term for farting is butt boxing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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