kristin has been a bad kristin
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
