Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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