Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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