return my video game
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
