oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
