it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
