You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
