She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The best revenge is premature balding
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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