did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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