i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
