Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
how drunk are you?
Several
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
