He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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