What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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