just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When did angry sex become our thing?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
