Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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