I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
