I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize