Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
