a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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