once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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