im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
