Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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