Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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