Porn is love you can see.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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