Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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