Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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