Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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