So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Randomize
