Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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