So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
