the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
