He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
