ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
