Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
