I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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