You were right. It hurts to walk today.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
