I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
