The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
