Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
