How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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