There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
