whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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