I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
