Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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