he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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