he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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