So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
