it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
