My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize