She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
