you guys were way drunker than both of me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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