I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize