I think my vagina is haunted
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize